Sorebrek's Musings and Ramblings

In search of the holy grail of an MBA (class of 2008 hopeful), this space will hopefully chronicle the search and my other quixotic pursuits.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Date Accompli

The thing that I hate about long distance relationships is how much it opens up the field to games. There's so much whining, pining and neediness. You ask her out and you hear nothing from her for days. Your feelings of insecurity manifest in fearsome forms. Has she dumped you for the I-banker hunk? You gripe about it to friends who cannot bear to hear one more word from you on the topic. On impulse you jump on a plane to go talk to her, hoping to persuade her and she treats you like you were just another contestant on the Bachelorette show. And just when you're ready to move on, ready to settle into a loser Valentine's day, she writes back. Yes Wharton finally gets back - and it is not a DWI!

So I get busy and schedule an interview with a local alum in the city - one that meets my three criteria. Last Monday I come out of the interview thinking I aced it. I had the answers pat down; hell, this is my third interview - I could do these while getting a lap-dance. I was a machine, an automaton - Why MBA, Why W etc. flew out like I was Socrates on weed. Why, I could even engage in a discourse on the architectural influences on Huntsman hall like it were St. Peter's Basilica. I threw in a good measure of gaiety, there were the appropriate pauses. "You know that is an interesting question. I can think of several instances, but I think I'm gonna go with the one that relates most to the Wharton Learning Team experience." I was on a roll. For all of 15 minutes. Then I reran the whole thing in my head. How stupid could I be. There was zero connection with the interviewer, a sweet school marm type. On retrospect I think I should've taken more time talking her into taking off her glasses and the chop-sticks (or pencil is it?) she had in her well-coiffed bun. But alas, I am so charmless, it was just wishful thinking. To give you an idea of the tone of the interview, here's an excerpt plucked from towards the end of the interview:

Sorebrek: What is it that you specifically took away from the Wharton experience that is helping you in your day-to-day job as a rocket scientist?
Interviewer: (pause) NOTHING! (pause, stare, the next-question-please look)
(Sorebrek now gasping for air like an asthmatic fish.)
Interviewer: Well, if you ask me to single out a case-study session that I used in my job today, I can't do it.
(She must have picked up on the body language or something - I was groping around the table for my eye-balls that had popped out of their sockets on her first response.)

The whole event reinforced my apprehensions about Wharton. I had gone up to Philly recently. There is an eldritch electricity in the air; unhealthy tension is rife. Kids running around like headless chicken; six jobs under the belt, yet a hungry piranha. This is not a case of sour grapes, I have said it before offline to several of you. My Wharton ding is fait accompli - I am not holding my breath on W. You see, being a Yeti it is hard enough for you to get into any top-10 even with a 780, Ivy 4.0, bird-flu cure and spare-time walking on water. A luke-warm interview is the kiss of death.

On to less(?) dismal tidings. For you vicarious readers, I did have a real date, in fact one last night. I should've known when she suggested Labyrinth. Turned out to be Goth heaven. I was sitting there nursing my watered down Martini and wishing that the eerie dude in the leather pants and matching lipstick would stop his freaky dance moves and slither back behind the Starbucks counter or wherever it is he came out from behind. And to top it, I was getting hit on like Harry Whittington by Cheney's bird-shot - wrong target guys. I feigned epilepsy and started foaming at my mouth which finally convinced my date that it was time to leave. On the way back, I suggested that the next time we go to the Addam's Family Farm. She gave me the whole Medusa-stare thing, quietly switched on the car's map light, opened her bag, pulled out a stick of lipstick that looked like a round of buckshot, listlessly applied it to her lips and then with a surprising agility, parted her legs in the cool air of the car and drew a thick red line on my white seat - thigh to thigh. Maybe it was Maybelline, maybe it was the Marybelle Line, but for the second time in a week I went asthmatic fish.

I wish this whole debacle would just end. I am waking up in the middle of the night with cold sweats having dreamt that I was cast into the waitlist purgatory. Oh please dingeuthanize me. I have even started suckling on the dark one's teats: yes, I have started reading the BusinessWeek forums! Oh the humanity!

19 Comments:

  • At 5:52 PM, Blogger i_will_make_it said…

    Sorebrek reading bw forums?! This is serious. *hugs* We'll all get through it. Chicago - babyyyy. ;-) I'm keeping the faith!

    The most difficult for me is when he needs me most, and I can't be there for him. Wanting to jump on the plane, but not being able to. Knowing he's trying to be strong w/out you - and he'll hide it from you so well. You're sad. Sad because all you want him to know is that he needs not feel insecure. That you're here for him. There is no other i-banker in the world that will take you away from him. You need him too - because you love him.

     
  • At 9:09 PM, Blogger sghama said…

    Dude - lukewarm interview is good enough man!! As long as you weren't a deadfish the whole way which you weren't, you're fine =) It's all gonna come down to the rest of your app.

    Now explain again - why did you go out on a date with a goth chick??

     
  • At 10:57 PM, Blogger Ash said…

    and whats wrong with goth chicks?
    :D
    i remember dating one (a long time ago)...and it was quite a lot of fun.
    dont worry about the interview...if u r in...u r in..with or without the interview...given the nature of blind interview i do not believe that they make or break the case anymore
    cheers
    Ash

     
  • At 12:24 PM, Blogger Marina said…

    shhh don't tell CBS that I am a druggie! But what else do you expect with a doctor for a dad :) It was great to see you! Next time we are going dancing!!! I can always come down your guys' way too...

     
  • At 7:46 PM, Blogger Le Voyageur said…

    Sorebrek - good to meet you several weeks ago. Props on the writing style, and best of luck with Chicago. I'm rooting for you to become a Winter Garden dweller.

     
  • At 8:43 PM, Blogger i_will_make_it said…

    Thanks, S. Yes, this is where men and women are alike. Men have the hard outer shell - but on the inside they are like jell-o, just like women. (*poke poke* Of all different flavors too!) lol. We all really have a lot in common - more than people think. *wink*

    Thanks for your words. And I need to hear more about this date! Sounds like things were heating up in the car there.

     
  • At 12:26 PM, Blogger MBA Cutie said…

    Best of luck, Sorebrek!!! W or C or K or any of them would be lucky to have you!

     
  • At 2:30 PM, Blogger SharkB8 said…

    Good luck dude. I think the interviews are "hope-you-are-not-a jerk-test". It's not make or break. Keeping fingers crossed !!

     
  • At 5:25 PM, Blogger Marina said…

    You see, what happens in Costa Rica stays in Costa Rica yet what happens in San Jose, CA may end up in someone's blog.

    Oh, and also there are beaches and tropics and 80 degrees outside :)

    That being said, I am totally down to party in SJ, CA with IWMI. I need to see her dance moves!

     
  • At 8:04 PM, Blogger wheresmydessert said…

    Ahh, business week forums, the time-draining black hole for many a b-school applicant. =o)

     
  • At 9:42 PM, Blogger i_will_make_it said…

    Date Movie... *scratches head* Yes, need to go catch that flick. :-) It's fine if you knock over the flowers w/ your behind, Mr. Jell-o. Glad someone's providing the entertainment at my wedding! :-D

    And Marina and I will *shake it* next time. Want to see S's "I got into W, C, and K!" moves too. Argh. ONE MORE MONTH until d-day!!

     
  • At 8:32 AM, Blogger laserlikefocus said…

    I agree with Le Voyageur. Amazing post. You have outdone yourself - again :)

    Don't worry too much about the Wharton interview. They have to take several Yetis - why not you?

    And yes, welcome to the world of the bweek undead. May god have mercy on your soul.

     
  • At 7:25 PM, Blogger PupStar78 said…

    I have no idea why I haven't responded to this post yet. What's up with the lipstick performance?!?!?

    Dude, I've been sucking on the dark teat of BW boards as well.

    Here's to celebrating our admits soon!

     
  • At 11:38 AM, Blogger mba jackass said…

    This is such a great post - i'm definitely adding you to my Blogs I Read list ASAP. One question: was the goth chick real, or symbolic?

    I was reticent about Wharton myself, to the extent that I held off on applying to see how much time I had left after completing my first 4. It turned out that I had exactly 0 hours, 2 minutes and 43 seconds left on that brisk January midnight.

    Also, I'm not that pumped up about Philadelphia (or DC, except for last night's coldplay concert).

    Either way - good luck.

     
  • At 12:01 PM, Blogger i_will_make_it said…

    I had the craziest dream last night that you texted me saying you got into W. *knock on wood* I do hope that dreams come true! :-)

     
  • At 6:21 PM, Blogger i_will_make_it said…

    Ooo. Nice. lol. But seriously, I received a text that said "WHARTON" all in caps and you were amazed that despite the crazy W interview, you were admitted.

    It was so vivid, I woke up thinking it was real! Then I realized - wait, has W released decisions yet? Only a dream. :-( Maybe it was my gut speaking and you will be admitted! YAY! I will hope for the best.

    Alas, my interview streak is over. Whew! Less than a month to go... ahhh...

    How are you? Any more lipstick dates?

     
  • At 3:39 PM, Blogger i_will_make_it said…

    Aww, get well S. Stay in bed, drink fluids, sleep!! (I have a cold too. Sigh. Bay Area blues.)

    If the plunger doesn't work you can get a $9 toilet unclogger thingamagic from Home Depot. Are you sure the docs aren't hidden in your underwear drawer? Over there! In the left back corner, under uhh... I-don't-want-to-know's red lacey panties. If you fish around, the green-card's probably there with it.

    Hell no, am I putting my hand in there! You do it! :-P

    Marina and I caught a dance show together on Sat. Fun catching up with M!

     
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