Cabala and Cable Cabal - the tale of a near broadband-felon

I wake up to the incessant ringing of the cell-phone. I pick up and a series of Nextel beeps and crackles later, a voice: You sorebreK? (ok, not really, he asks for me by name).
Yours truly: Yeah, that's right.
The Voice: You want cable, man?
YT (very groggily): Huh? yeah, yeah, cable internet installation right? What time are you coming by?
V: Be there soon.
Three hours and half of my workday later, I hear the doorbell. I buzz in the face behind the voice. Before I could say 'shoes', the foot soldier of the cable cabal has already trampled down to the center of my precious area rug and arms akimbo, is taking in the view of my spartan digs.
V: Just moved in huh?
I am pissed. Yeah Sherlock, the U-Haul boxes gave me away didn't they?
YT: Yeah. The cable outlet is right here.
Undaunted Sherlock presses on,
V: So you a student man, or you working?
YT: A bit of both.
V: You work here? What do you do?
YT: I work at World Dominator Corp.
V: Nice - big money huh?
YT: Not really, but I am not complaining.
V: So what you studying?
I want to say "premature combustibility of solid rocket propellant fuels", but I settle for
YT: Some business stuff.
Whew, I lost him! How wrong I was.
Our protagonist fishes out his very bling gold pinz nez glasses (who wears them these days anyway) and starts very officiously poring over the work order and shakes his head in disbelief.
V: You just want internet man? No cable TV? What's with that?
YT: Yeah, just internet please.
A rather personable look comes over our friend's face.
V: Look brother, I can hook you up for free. Just pay me $100 and you get 76 channels for free. Nobody's gonna know.
Greed clouds yours truly's reasoning, but then vignettes of the Harvard 119 in Guantanamo standard-issue orange jump suits flash across my mind in rapid succession.
YT: But, isn't that, isn't that illegal? It is not kosher right?
V: What the hell man? You Jewish now?
Damn, I should never have left those latkes out to thaw. Seeing the bewildered look on my face, with an avuncular pat on my shoulder, I'm reassured:
V: No big deal brother. It's just the signal.
Huh?
YT: Thanks, but I'll pass. I am not much of a TV guy any way.
And then the one-two punch!
V: It's a good deal brother. How you gonna survive in business?
Albeit for different reasons, I sometimes wonder myself. But it did give me great satisfaction seeing that our protagonist will never know why I looked as amused as I did.